Hey friends –
Me & my guy
I love my man.
I absolutely really do.
This August we will celebrate 15 years of marriage. Wow.
I thank God every day for bringing John Bultema into my life, and the “sweet spot” we are enjoying in our marriage and family life these days.
But does that mean marriage is easy?
Heavens no.
It’s not unusual for me to get a handful of emails a week from women who are going through bumpy times in their marriage. These dear women wonder how they are going to make it, and feel like they are the only one going through a rough season with their man.
If that is you today, sweet friend, may I remind you that you are not alone.
I have so been there.
In fact, it was just last spring 2014, when my marriage hit a road bump.
Well, not really a bump — more like a canyon. Like a Grand Canyon magnitude, we’re not gonna survive this, sized canyon.
I won’t go into all the nitty gritty details.
Let’s just say, things were discovered that were “deal breakers” for me.
That season was filled with tons of tears and hard conversations, while my heart was utterly broken and devastated.
Y’all, I don’t do pain well. After the pain of my past, I just don’t.
So my response was basically,
“Yep, I’m outta here. I’m done. Didn’t think this was how the “happily ever after” story was gonna go — but God, I. can’t. do. this.”
I realize this is not the healthy and whole response I would prefer — I’m just being real. #pleasedontjudge
Marriage can be hard, can’t it, friend?
Truth be told, sometimes marriage can be lonely, painful and heartbreaking.
So when the pressures of marriage-life intensify, what do we do? How do we withstand the heat?
I don’t have all the answers, but here’s what I’ve learned, friends, from what I now call “The Fiery Spring of 2014.”
Bottom line: God used two things to rescue my marriage.
# 1 — His Promises
Y’all, during my “messy marriage season” I listened to this song over and over and over again.
It wasn’t just the song — it was the lyrics of this song. Listen to it and/or read the promise-filled lyrics aloud below —
God is able
He will never fail
He is almighty God
Greater than all we seek
Greater than all we ask
He has done great things
God is with us
God is on our side
He will make a way
Far above all we know
Far above all we hope
He has done great things
If you are in the midst of a “messy marriage season” — please, sweet friend, think about what you are thinking about!
The more we meditate on our mess, pain, hurt, and/or difficult circumstances — the more “the mess” intensifies.
We must, we must, we must think about Who God is and what He is able to do.
Personally, in the midst of my marriage mess, I needed a reminder that God was with US. Not just with me…but God was with US — me AND John AND our family, He was on OUR side, HE would never fail us, & HE would make a way.
Y’all, God used this song to save my marriage.
I’m not even kidding.
And the second lesson…..I’ll share Lesson #2 tomorrow!
Question for you, friend: How would you respond to a friend who asks, “How do I make it through this messy season of marriage ?” Share your response with us please!
“Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)
Thanks so much for stopping by, friend. I thank God for YOU!
Sweet blessings—
P.S. NOTE: Please know, although I was broken-hearted in my “marriage mess”, I was safe. If you are faced with circumstances in your life and you are not safe — physically or emotionally — PLEASE call a friend, counselor, church friend, or hotline for HELP. Promise?
We went through a really messy time as well, and a friend had wonderful advice for me- First, she reminded me that my vows were, ..”for better or for worse.” I did not promise for better or for best. I had already made a vow, to my husband, but most importantly to God, that I would be there through the worst, trusting God to bring us through it. God could not work, unless I allowed Him to, and also, that I had already made that decision back then, to trust God in the “worst”
Also, I had to allow God time to work, Sometimes, God works instantly, but 99% of the time, we had to dig in, because we would be there awhile, praying, trusting, and waiting on God to work. Also, God does not waste anything- trust that God will use this for HIS glory !
In a messy season in our marriage my best friend told me that every marriage is like a rose. For every beautiful blossom are many, many thorns. As God…and only God…brought us through that time I began to see that when our roots are firmly planted in Christ those thorns can actually be a blessing on the road to beautiful blossoms and have made our marriage much stronger than it would have ever been without them. Thank you for sharing your precious heart, Cindy…you are a dear encouragement and light!
God bless you for your transparency! You have hit a note with so many women! “think about what you’re thinking about” – I love this quote! It’s way too easy to focus on the difficulties and not on God’s promises. What a great reminder to focus on God and His promises especially when life is messy!