Hi Friends! I’m reposting today…mostly because I need to remember the commitment I’ve made to myself to live Fat Talk Free.
I have made resolutions/declarations to pursue Healthy Living (and, if you can believe it, haven’t had a Diet Coke in 19 days. See, our God is a God of miracles ~ smile!) ~ however, it seems like with the constant bombardment of Diet ads/commercials and weight loss books and more… I’m wrestling with reminding myself that my value is not based on the size of my pants.
Freedom. Victory. Overcoming. Whole Living. Loving God. Loving Others. Serving. TRUTH. More of Jesus. Joy. And more Love.
Oh Lord, may this be the cry of my heart… Not trying to get into my skinny jeans….
Ok friends, I’ll be honest.
I’ve been in a funk this week. Ok, maybe this whole month.
I lost my joy. My peace. Even my sparkle. 🙁
First, some history….
As many of you know, my weight has been a life long issue for me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt not thin enough. Or pretty enough. I believed the lie no one would ever find me beautiful. (Recap here)
My weight struggle came to an all-time high when I was pregnant with my eldest son Jake. I was alone. Soon-to-be a single mom. And I ate my stress, pain, fear, and shame (and anything else someone would feed me!).
Here is a picture of me on July 15, 1994 ~ the day Jake was born.
By Jake’s 2nd birthday, I lost all the weight, and more. See pic below…
July 1996
Even at that weight (wearing a size 4 dress), I still felt not thin enough. Or pretty enough. Or that I could ever be beautiful.
I didn’t eat a piece of Jake’s birthday cake that day because I felt so unbelievably fat.
It was empty, defeated living.
Thankfully, soon after Jake’s 2nd birthday, I met Jesus (woo hoo!) ~ and my life has not been the same since!!
In His great mercy, Jesus has not only given me a new life, but a NEW MIND!! I now have the mind of Christ! And over the past 15 years, I’ve been very intentional about filling my mind with the TRUTH of who GOD says that I am!
And even though I no longer wear a size 4 (picture below is from this past summer), I have been walking in Truth and freedom and joy….
….until lately.
Unfortunately, someone close to me, is uncomfortable with my weight. Thinks I’m unattractive. Doesn’t find me beautiful. And thinks it’s important to share this information with me.
I wish it was some random weird commenter from cyber-space, but it’s someone in my community that I value and respect.
Friends, I’ll be honest, this has really thrown me for a loop. The other night I was on the phone with my girlfriend balwing my eyes out (yes, the ugly cry) ~ and I felt like I was headed in a backwards direction, and fast. The lies were taking over, and I didn’t know how to make them stop.
Have you ever been there before??
As I spent time praying later that evening, I rememembered something I learned in a Bible Study that was eye opening for me. Kelly Minter, in her book No other gods shares, “Satan will tell us what’s true, but he never tells us the TRUTH“.
Remembering that simple statement was like an “AHA” light bulb moment for me!!
Yes, it is true, I am not a size 4 (or an 8 anymore).
Yes, it is true, my body has given birth to 4 children.
Yes, it is true, I do not look like the women on the magazines. Yes, those things are true.
But the TRUTH is that I am beautiful and accepted by God….just the way that I am!!
The TRUTH is that God delights in me!!
The TRUTH is that I am secure, significant, set apart in Christ!
The TRUTH is that I am dearly loved by the Lord God Almighty! Woo Hoo!!
“Satan will tell us what’s true, but he never tells us the TRUTH“.
My greatest desire is to be a voice of TRUTH in my own life, and the lives of every single person I come in contact with (my friends, family, neighborhood, community, on-line, and more!).
I will not allow the comments of others to make me have “crazy head”.
I will not return to an eating disorder.
And I will not allow my words to others feed into the lies we receive from the media and the world, about where TRUE BEAUTY and WORTH comes from ~ so help me God!!
That’s why I’m declaring my life to be a Fat Talk Free Zone! I recently came across the Reflections Body Image Program. I love what they are doing to teach women to pursue health, well-being, and true beauty!
In case you are wondering “what is fat talk, anyway?” Here’s how the Reflections Program describes it…
Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies.
Examples of fat talk may include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.”
Statements that are considered fat talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet also reinforce the need to be thin – “You look great! Have you lost weight?”
Sorry, Satan, you may try your sly and subtle tricks with me ~ BUT NO MORE! I will live and stand and walk in TRUTH!
And the TRUTH is that our God does not talk “Fat Talk” to His dearly loved children!
The official “Fat Talk Free” has already passed, but I’m declaring my life to be Fat Talk Free….Lord willing, from this day forward!! Anyone with me??
Hi Cindy, thanks for sharing this. i'm struggling now with 40 pounds of post-baby weight. it's very upsetting and i'm constantly talking bad to myself about it. but, i will try the "Fat Talk Free" approach today. love, Kristie
Hi Cindy,Thanks for posting. I needed to read this. As you know, this is one of the largest battles of each and every day for me. I happen to be struggling with it quite bad right now. It was perfect timing! Thanks again, Cindy!
You know, it absolutely floors me that anyone would have the nerve to say anything to anyone's face about someone's appearance like that. It makes me wonder what could possibly be the motive behind those words. I am so hurt for you!!! But I am so glad that God turned it around for you and reminded you of "the Truth". You are beautiful! (I have always been partial to red hair…LOVE it.) Satan is a liar and the father of lies. There is NO truth in him at all. None. So even if he says something that may be a FACT, it will never, ever be the truth because it is contaminated with false motive, manipulation, subtlety, cunning,and craftiness. Anything "true" will be motivated by love. Satan's whole purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. He is ruthless in his attempts to do so, and he can even use fact that has been twisted and perverted to try bring us captive. God gives us His word, and part of the spiritual battle is "casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God." It is a battle, and we all have moments where we nurture imaginations instead of casting them down. It's part of our human nature. We have to choose moment by moment to walk in God's Truth. God is faithful to give us the Truth, the "knowledge of God", to replace those imaginations once we cast them down.Sorry, I don't mean to preach a mini-sermon on your blog, but I just get all riled up when I see the enemy attacking one of God's people!!!Keep fighting the good fight of faith, and meditating on God's Word and Truth instead of satan's facts and lies!
Hi Cindy! I understand where you're coming from. I hear plenty of that talk, and I despise it. Now that I'm almost 40 yrs. old, I don't let anyone bring me down. The truth is, reading your post and seeing your pictures, I think you look beautiful. :)~ Thanks for the visit, and for your kind words. ~
Cindy, I am sorry that Satan is relentless, I know it has come up a lot for you over the years. I hope (and will pray) that you will be able to listen to the people that love you as you are, and more importantly to God. From your pictures you look healthy. If someone is a healthy weight I don't see the issue. I myself struggle with weight issues, but different from you. I am short, and an appropriate small size, but I am on myself constantly about eating correctly. And unfortunately I evaluate others on how they are doing on their journey. I keep my mouth shut, but it is a constant thought in my head. We need to change this vicious cycle we are in. Not sure how, but society needs to change! You are beautiful as you are, God made sure of it!
P.S. Great video! I posted it to my FB wall! 🙂
Aaaah, you've expressed the exact things I struggle with almost daily!! Books that have helped me are Jennifer Rothschild's "Self Talk, Soul Talk" and her workbook, "Me, Myself, & Lies" and Beth Moore's "So Long Insecurity". I find I have to take these books off my shelf and go over them off and on during the year to brush up on my defenses. Satan is the father of lies – Don't listen to him!!! You ARE beautiful! You ARE loved! You ARE blessed, chosen, predestined, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven! Ephesians 1:3-12
My husband is very "fit" conscious. I could say more…but I will say exercise and healthy eating would not be a priority of mine, but it needs to be if it's his priority.