The birthday boy & his mama
Hey Friends –
I’ve entered a new season of Motherhood.
Jake’s party before he left for Colorado
My “birdie” (aka my firstborn Jake) has left the nest—flying from our home in Michigan to spend the summer in Colorado.
Today is his 20th birthday and he is not here to celebrate.
Weird.
Thankfully, since it’s not the first time he’s left our home, I’m a bit more used to the idea.
You may remember when Jake first started school at Aquinas College, I was a absolute and complete wreck. His biological dad and step-mom live walking distance from his new school, and Jake moved in with them.
I melted down.
Big time.
I’m a Psychology major who has studied “empty nest syndrome.”
I’m a MOPS speaker who talks about embracing the seasons of life. I’ve read articles about moms who bawl for days when their babies go to college and thought to myself “that will never be me!” I’ve secretly laughed at my friend’s moms who slept in their daughter’s beds when they moved out. I made it through the first day of Kindergarten with barely a sniffle or two.
I’ve told my kids all along that I want them to have two things ~ wings and roots. I was raising my little birds to soar!
Only now I realize I prefer my little birdies right here with me!
In case you are entering a new season of motherhood in the fall, will be transitioning seasons soon, or just want to plan ahead, here is what I’ve been learning so far about when our “birdies” leave the nest:
1. Embrace “this” season.
Jake in Colorado
Just like we embraced and made it through the diaper stage, the early MOPS years, the elementary season (my favorite), the fun high school years, & college years – this new season will have many highs and yes, some lows.
When Jake started Aquinas, we went as a family and stocked up on new AQ gear, and I realized having a son in college could still be a lot of fun.
Now that Jake is in Colorado, I’m enjoying all the amazing pics he is sending of his new adventures (although I do find myself wanting to text him and say “Are you sure that’s safe?” —but I don’t.)
How are you learning to embrace your current season of life?
2. Feel Your Feelings
I’ll be honest, when life gets hard, most days I‘d rather just drink a Starbucks latte or pour myself a cold Diet Coke…. but not anymore.
Instead I’m asking God to help me feel these feelings and not just numb out.
If I numb the pain and sadness, I also numb out the joy and peace – and I’m not willing to go there.
Instead I need to feel these feelings and allow myself to grieve (yuck – remember I hate goodbyes) – but I’m trying.
3. Share Your Feelings
I’m super blessed with a close circle of friends & family who have been walking with me through this season of transition. Sending notes and emails. Reminding me “I’m normal.” Praying over me and letting me be real.
(Not to mention my husband John who has been a gem with a super emotional wife. I think we changed outfits 3 times Friday night – I just need to go for a walk. No, I need to go out. No, I need to watch a funny movie. No, I can’t be home, I need to go out. Let’s go to the movies please. Oh my! Thanks, honey!)
4. Create New Routines & Traditions
New seasons create opportunities for new routines and traditions. When Jake first went to college, I stepped down from teaching Bible Study weekly so I could be available for Jake as needed. We even had “Wednesday’s at Wolfgang’s” (a nearby great breakfast place) that was a huge highlight of my week.
5. Learn, Grow & Cling to Truth
New seasons are perfect opportunities for new growth. I want to be more like Jesus, and I’m asking God to teach me new, better ways to live through this transition.
I’m also super thankful for God’s Word and its powerful, life-changing, accomplishing work. (Where would we be without Truth?!)
I’ve added new arsenal to my belt of Truth, including verses like….
- Isaiah 30:15b – In Quietness and trust is your strength (the“Q” verse)
- Psalm 119:28 – My soul is weary with sorrow; strenghten me according to Your Word.
- Psalm 4:3 – Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for Himself, the Lord will hear when I call to Him.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1 – There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven….
How about you, friend? What season of life are you in these days? What are you learning? How are you feeling? Share with us please!
Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! I’m off to celebrate the amazing gift of life God blessed me with 20 years ago today —even if he is up a mountain somewhere in Colorado somewhere!
With a thankful, but somewhat sad heart, (just keeping it real),
My only child will be a senior in High School this year, and I am afraid I’ll cry the whole year! Her last first day, her last school picture, her last basketball game… a whole year of LASTS! Thanks for reminding me of all the FIRSTS around the corner (although I am still stocking up on tissues and waterproof mascara).
I’m in the season of busyness. Although my oldest child is 23 and has one daughter and another on the way, I still have two children at home who are 13 and 9. Our financial situation demands that I work far more than I wish I did.
I would like to have more time to savor and enjoy the moments with my children and grandchildren. I feel envious of my friends who are stay-at-home moms (something I’ve always wanted to be) or are retired and actively involved in their grandchildren’s lives.
I am trying to learn to be content with what God has given me to do. I am grateful that I’m able to work and that I enjoy what I do. I’m also trying to learn how to simplify what and where possible, to be sensitive to the needs of others, and to appreciate every day. Admittedly, I do better at these things some days than others! But my inadequacies and God’s grace also teach me something about the parent that He wants me to be.
Thanks for sharing and being real. Ive discovered every season of motherhood opens my heart to letting go, grievimg and learning to live different. When my oldest son, Jake, moved out last year, I was excited he was finally out of the nest but had moments when i missed him terribly and slipped into his vacant room.(yes i had a few tears ttoo) I would just sit there reflecting on the past. It took 6 months for me to finally redecorate and move his younger brother in his space. Giving yourself permission to feel your feelings and transition into a new mom role is personal. Praying for your mother heart in this new season of living.