Hey Friends –
Thanks for praying me through my trip to Grief Share. It was an amazing experience, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.
But, unfortunately, I’m in a bit of a “funk” these days. I got my feelings hurt and I’m having a hard time shaking the blues.
Anyone else ever been there before?
You know that saying about sticks and stones breaking our bones, but words will never hurt us.
Words can damage and set us back and make us want to quit and second guess who God has created us to be. Words can trigger old, painful hurts, fill our mind with confusing thoughts, and want us to numb out and somehow dodge the pain.
But, my sweet friends, we have a choice.
Sunday morning I hit my bottom. After many difficult and complicated conversations last week, listening to critical words that cut to my core, experiencing deep disappointment, calling myself cruel names I’d never say to anyone else, plus listening to a friend “politely” critique my parenting skills (and not give me a passing grade) – I was done.
Sunday morning John said “good morning” but in a playful, jokey way. My response (right before we left for church, no less….) –
“Oh, let me guess….I’m not good enough for you either, right? Is that what your “good morning” means? I’m not good enough for _____, or ______, or a good enough mom, and I don’t do this right, and I’m not a good enough housekeeper, and I still have a Christmas tree on the porch and….”
You get the drift, right?? Mama was gonna blow.
Poor John. He only meant to say good morning. Oops.
My mini meltdown helped me see I was still experiencing a lot of pain.
I might be smiling to the world on the outside, but on the inside, my heart was crushed and I needed help and Truth. It was time for these negative roots of self-criticism, defeat and insecurity to be eradicated, and for new, fresh seeds of Truth to be planted.
Thankfully as we drove to church I noticed a set of verse cards tucked in the console. I pulled them out and slowly filled my confused and chaotic mind with the Truth of who God says I am.
I also reflected on the simple words shared to me many years ago, “Cindy, you can let this situation make you better or bitter.”
Friends, I’m choosing better.
I will ask God to teach me through this difficult situation. I will not run from the pain. I will call the friend who hurt my feelings. I will ask for clarification where details are confusing. I will share how I’m doing….really. I will give myself grace and space to heal. I will remember that God says I’m accepted, valued and loved…just the way that I am. I will not allow new hurts to trigger old pain. I will cling to Truth.
We always have a choice – and I’m choosing better.
Sweet friend, I’m not sure what your week has been like, but in case you’ve had your own unique set of challenges, will you too choose to be better, and not bitter?
Will you join me in eradicating those negative roots and planting new seeds of Truth?
Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! May this be a place where we can always share how we are really doing…and be reminded of the Truth that we are not alone.
I’m so thankful to journey with you, dear friend!
Cindy, words do hurt…so badly sometimes. I’m so sorry you were hurting. Those funks are so, so hard. Praying for you and your ministry…you are where He created you to be. Looking forward to our team call tomorrow.
Love and prayers 🙂
Thanks for your prayers and support, Erin! I love how God brought us together for His Kingdom purposes!
In much the same place. Praying for myself and now I am praying for you too. I totally get this post. Thanks for sharing.
Oh Denise, I’m so sorry you are in the same place. I’m praying for YOU today – asking God to fill your heart and mind with TRUTH. You are beautiful, loved, accepted and chosen (and so much more!). May you walk about in TRUTH today!
I am still there, slowly climbing out. Person who hurt me is not rational enough to do what you said above. Working on forgiveness anyway. What are some of the verses you found?
Women really know how to hurt each other…
Dear Val –
I’m sorry you are still there. One thing I’ve learned is that even if the other person isn’t “there” yet, God can still help us love, forgive, and walk in freedom and Truth. Will you privately send me your mailing address? I’ll send you a copy of my verses.
You are right, women really know how to hurt each other…but I’m also glad God brings women into our lives that really know how to love and encourage each other. xoxo
In this life, there will be idiots … oops! I mean people who speak before they think. Remember Jesus words about forgiving them for they know not what they do. Satan is obviously working overtime for I had the same thing recently. He’s trying to steal your joy … don’t let him. Keep reading God’s truth to find out how wonderful you are … REALLY!!!! Love you!
Oh friend, you words make me smile! I’m sorry you’ve had the same thing recently. Thanks for being a consistent voice of Truth, hope and joy in my life. I’m so glad we are on the same Team!
well, I could write a mini book on this but will spare you m ugly details and just say I am with you and said a prayer for you.
Thanks for standing with me. I said a prayer for you too!
Dear God, thank You for Brenda. You know the ugly details in her life. Please shed Your light and grace on the situation. Fill Brenda with hope, Truth, and a fresh measure of Peace. Remind her who You say that she is – loved, valuable, significant and chosen by You! Thanks for the precious privilege of praying for one another…knowing that You hear, You care, and You answer. In Jesus powerful Name. Amen! xoxo
This was very timely for me… I am struggling with my own sticks and stones in the form of an Amazon review that totally misinterprets me. And it hurts. And I’m so glad that I can share with other people who have been in similar situations. Thanks for the encouragement.
Dear Erin, I’m so sorry for the hurt you’ve experienced. I’m praying that God sprinkles your path with tokens of encouragement, and that you are reminded afresh that God is pleased with you and your work! I’ve enjoyed all of your “Christian Mama’s Guide to….” books, and pray that God continues to use you to be a powerful voice of hope, encouragement, and wisdom to our lost and hurting world! xoxo
It just killed my heart to read this. I love you!!
Thanks, friend. I love you too! June can’t come soon enough! xoxo
So sorry to hear this Cindy. It’s hard to believe that anyone who knows your heart could be so critical. But I’ve been there too.
Lord, pour Your comfort into Cindy’s heart. Help her to shut out the negative words and simply hear Your words of comfort and encouragement. You know her heart. Help her to find peace in Your love.
Cindy, I am thinking of you while you go through this. Not fun. You know what I go through and I focus on the fact that no one can take my relationship with God away. You have been telling us how we are His masterpiece and regardless of how the world feels about me, He loves me. I have been listening to Rick Warren’s sermons at http://www.purposedriven.com/day5 or any of the days for that matter and those sermons will set you straight. The world says one thing, but God says the Truth. I love you and God loves you. Have a good Spring Break.
Cindy, I am so sorry you were feeling this way last week-and possibly still a little this week. I just went through the same thing last week. My mom, step dad, sister and nephew were here for a week. My sister is going through the NA program. She’s been clean for almost 2 years. It was a great time talking with my sister. However, my mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, she doesn’t know it. She made the trip miserable. She put me down, criticized everything I did and then the day they left gave me some empty compliments that would have been better left unsaid. I know she doesn’t know she’s doing it because of her mental illness, but the words still hurt.
I did the same thing you did to your husband to my husband. He simply suggested something for dinner and I assumed I was a bad cook, bad mom, just bad to the core. Poor guy. He did let me have a few hours to work through my emotions and hurt so I can work towards love and compassion towards my mother.
I hope your funk doesn’t last long. You are awesome. Seriously. Yesterday was a pretty hairy day with my children-I have 3 little ones. I put the two older ones in the beds for quiet time and thought, “I need to read something positive.” Your website was the first thing that came to my mind.
Thank you for being real and letting us all know that we are not alone. Again, you’re awesome!
Miss you, Cindy! I hope you are doing better and feeling the Lord’s encouragement. Love, Jenny C.