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Hey Friends –
Warning: My mind is mushy and my nerves are shot. Read at your own risk.
What a weekend.
As many of you know, I’m in the midst of a huge writing deadline. I submitted the Red Hot Faith Participant’s Guide after my final revisions on Friday morning (Thank You, God!), and have the Leader’s Guide to finalize
today (this week – I asked for an extension). My tension level is on high alert as I’m trying to accomplish a task way out of my comfort zone.
Thursday night I received a call that my beloved Grandma in Indiana has days to live. We knew she had cancer, but the doctor had recently estimated six months. Our plan was to visit her at the end of March. Days? I bawled my eyes out. Due to the severe snow storms – both here in Michigan and in Indiana – my grandma doesn’t want anyone traveling, and so we wait.
Over the weekend, both my boys had hockey tournaments, i.e. seven games over three days. Y’all know I love being a hockey mom – but seven games?
Plus you remember I’m a goalie mom. Friday’s game was so intense my dad said I was about ready to “have a kitten.”
I’m not sure what that means, but yes, crowd members were asking me if I was still breathing. Jake and his team pulled out a win against Michigan State – but good grief it was nail-biting to the absolute last second.
Oh, and did I mention Friday was another snow day from school so all three kids were home again?
Thankfully I made it to Sunday. We served at our usual spots at church and headed to our typical Sunday lunch location. Everything was well until mid-way through our Mexican food. Sarah, my precious nine year old who was sitting across from me, started to choke on her chicken and black bean salad.
Insert me panicked here.
Long story…a piece of chicken was lodged in Sarah’s airway. She could breathe, but was very uncomfortable, and nothing was working to get it out. We called the doctor and they said take her to the Children’s ER.
Insert me utterly freaked out here.
Y’all, can I just be honest? I have issues.
I’m good with believing God in the midst of day to day stuff. I absolutely know God can deliver and redeem and restore and heal and set free and provide.
BUT after losing my fiance tragically and very suddenly years ago, when my loved ones are hurt, triggers and funny buttons and sirens go off all over the place for me.
It’s not pretty.
The good news: Sarah is fine. The doctor could see the chicken (lodged near her tonsil) and was able to pull it out without putting her to sleep, etc.. All is well.
The Lesson from my Freak Out Moment: Trust God.
Now it doesn’t mean it won’t be painful or scary or trigger old hurts or create some anxiety or remind us how frail life is or remind us we are still work in progress (and have a long way to go) or just plain old hard.
And sometimes trusting God means trusting Him with the pain, or trusting Him with the loss or trusting Him in the confusion or trusting Him in the mess.
As I hurried down to the ER yesterday, all I could pray over and over again was…God, I trust You. God, I trust You. God, I trust You.
Friends, when was the last time you had a freak out moment? Are you going through one today? Do you need a reminder that God is absolutely Trustworthy and True? I’d be humbled to pray for you while I’m slowly regaining my strength, sanity, and focus.
Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! May your week be filled with oodles of peace, joy and non-life threatening moments!