Y’all know I love my man! John and I celebrated 13 years of marriage this summer!
Can I get a Woo Hoo?! 🙂
Not that it’s been easy (remember this), and we are as different as night and day (yes, exact opposites!), BUT – I love every minute that I’m with John, and try really hard to be the Godly wife God desires for me to be.
Except we all know I’m so not perfect.
A few weeks ago I decided I was intentionally slowing down. My mind and body was still recovering from my whirlwind schedule, and I felt dangerously close to a melt down.
And if Mama melts down it just ain’t pretty.
Saturday morning I turned off the computer and declared to myself I was going offline for the entire weekend. Not a huge deal, right?
I do like to check my email (and FB and blog updates) – but it’s not like I’m online that much when my familiy is home. (I don’t think so, anyway). My office is right next to the kitchen, so if I happen to walk by, it’s convenient to stop and see what my friends are up to or shoot off a quick email reply…but I’m sure my family doesn’t even notice.
Back to this weekend…so Saturday afternoon, John sat down at the computer. Quickly he called for me. “Cindy, there’s something wrong with our computer! It’s not working!”
He was being completely serious.
I shared, “Honey, It’s not broken – just off. I turned it off for the weekend.”
My man shouted “SWEET!”
I was completely confused. John again shouted, “SWEET!” I finally asked what in the world he was talking about.
John shared very matter-of-factly, “Oh good. Finally I’ll feel like I’m most important again.”
Picture me – speechless.
Feeling heartbroken that my man would think he was less important than a computer. And in shock to realize what my nonverbals were saying to the man I love so dearly.
My online time was communicating that “the computer” was more important than my marriage.
You have to know that this is a painful post to share. My conversation with John left me sad, especially thinking my choices had been hurtful to him. But I’m so grateful I could speak and demonstrate through my actions the truth to my husband.
I’ll definitely make different choices to communicate who (besides Jesus) really is the love of my life.
I love my man and NOT my computer.
How about for you, my dear *She Sparkles* friends?
What does your online time communicate to your husband? Your children? Your neighborhood?
What steps/boundaries/safe guards have you put in place to keep first things first?
I’d love to hear (and learn!) from you!
Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! God’s richest blessings to you!
P.S. Today I am thrilled to join my dear friends Julie from Come Have A Peace and Jen and the Soli Deo Gloria sisterhood. Be sure to check out these amazing sites! 🙂
…repost from the archives
Cindy, thank you for your transparencey. I have been really thinking about going unplugged, but then, when it comes down to actually doing it, I become very anxious- My friend told me I had FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) What in the world is so important on-line, that I can not miss, when God has blessed me with such an incredible off-line life ? (husband, children, home, ministry, etc)
Sue, thank you for YOUR transparency. I like that – FOMO. I think you have a talk in that, friend! Good stuff! Sending a big hug your way! 🙂
I’ve been convicted in this area with my kids for sure. Especially during the summer. So, I’ve learned to pay attention to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to help me determine where to spend my time when. I remember when my oldest was in preschool and she was filling out some Mother’s Day sheet and it said “My mom’s favorite thing to do is work on the computer.” Talk about sad.
Love how you listen to the Holy Spirit, friend. Wise words! 🙂
This is a tough topic for me because I work four part-time jobs – one of them is self-employment and the other is one in which my office is at home. Obviously, working from home takes the computer to an elevated level, and boundaries become much more difficult.
However, I became convicted of this a little over a year ago when my youngest daughter said that I love being on the computer. Due to her age, she probably did not have an understanding that it was work and not pleasure, but it still hurt!
So I made a commitment that I would begin to limit my work hours to during the day like “normal people.” I have to make a few exceptions to that rule for evening meetings (about twice a month). For the most part, it has worked much better. Sometimes there are still deadlines to deal with, and when those come up now I talk with my family about it in advance.
Crystal, I like your idea of set office times. Way to set up a boundary, talk to your family, and implement your plan. Well done! 🙂