Sweet friends —
Here’s the deal — I so do NOT want to write this post.
Not one bit.
I’d rather talk about sparkly stuff, confetti, summer fun, red-hot faith — anything.
But not porn.
And if you’d rather click off now before I begin another late night ranting session, I totally understand.
I wouldn’t blame you at all.
BUT I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE.
My Monday morning started early with a heart-breaking, detailed email from a sweet friend from church. As she poured out her excruciating pain and anger and disgust into her written note to me, I knew where her story was going.
Yep, sure enough, she recently discovered her husband — a former church leader & dad to beautiful little girls — is smack dab in the midst of a porn addiction.
No woman ever wants to uncover filth and obscenities on their home computer.
Add to this the dreadful grief, shock, and horror we continue to process in West Michigan after the tragic findings and recent events that have rocked and shocked our conservative community.
How do we even begin to heal?
Lord help us all.
And then I read statistics like this —
Christians and Pornography taken from Mind Armor Training Tools
- 70% of Christian men admit to struggling with pornography in their daily lives.
- 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women admitted to an addiction to pornography.
- 55% of pastors admitted to visiting a pornographic site.
- 57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation.
Y’all, this makes me want to cry or scream or spit or something. You too?
What in the world is going on here?
It’s time we all come together and say NO MORE!
Now first, please know — if you find yourself today as one of the statistics — a man or woman struggling with pornography in your daily life — may I please remind you that this is not a guilt and shame fest.
Not one bit. Promise.
As a former drug and alcohol addict, you will never find me throwing stones your way.
Ever.
Jesus came so that you might have and enjoy life — in the abundance, more than enough, overflowing life (John 10:10) and I desperately want you to experience ALL that He has for you. Life today — not when you give up the porn, or make things right, or just when you get to heaven.
Today.
But IT IS ALSO TIME — today — for us ALL to bring this destructive darkness into His light, and say NO MORE to these statistics.
No more ruined lives.
No more ruined relationships.
No more looking the other way while your spouse searches online.
No more deception and lies and secrecy and cheating and corruption.
No more.
May we NOT be ok with these shocking statistics, and quote and share them like we do the weekly weather report.
Friends, it’s time we come together and say NO MORE!
Now do I have all the answers?
Clearly no.
We know this, right?!
I’m just a mama on a mission to say I am NOT ok with pornography destroying precious kids’ futures and lives and our men and marriages and precious women and our church any longer.
Here’s what I’m declaring —
I will talk about porn in my home and read porn-proofing books and put strong filters on our computers and encourage personal accountability and pray like crazy to our amazing God — Who sees, Who knows, Who is in control.
I will look for ways my voice can count and I will NOT sit back idly and sweep it under the rug.
I will pray for darkness to be exposed, for healing to come, for God to do such a miracle in our midst that statistics would be drastically changed and there would be freedom and wholeness and life in homes and churches across the world!
I will just say NO to porn — for me, my family, and our whole family line!
Will you please join me? Pretty please?
Sweet friend, I’m not sure where my message finds you today—but please know, you are loved.
I may be fed up and frustrated, but I come alongside you as a trusted friend — a friend who knows the damaging and destructive effect porn has on our self esteem, our minds, and our hearts.
But we do not have to walk this journey alone. Promise.
We do not have to sit back and watch the enemy steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) any longer.
I’m declaring my life a “porn free” zone.
Will you join me?
With a fired-up heart,
P.S. Here are some excellent resources to help you or a family member struggling with pornography.
- Hope After Porn (Free PDF)
- Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering
- For Women Who Struggle with Porn
- Protecting Our Kids
- My friend Jen’s book — it cannot come soon enough!
Coming this fall!
Oh, girl. Well, you know I stand with you, girl! I just found out yesterday the book cover was up on Amazon. Crazy! It is so important we bring this issue to light — to pray for our sisters and brothers and children who are trapped in these clutches, always remembering that GOD IS BIGGER than porn. HIS LIGHT is stronger than any darkness.
Thanks for standing with me in this. We need lots of warriors.
You go girl! One of the topics I’ve been discussing more over the past few years is the problem of pornography. Everything you mentioned in this post is important to know and need a response. It should also be noted there is a significant connection between pornography and human trafficking.
Additionally, there are forms of porn (soft core) which men and women believe are “not so bad” or regard as “harmless fun” because it doesn’t “go as far” as the hard core or gonzo porn which dominates internet porn. Erotica is story based rather than pictorial so it’s given a “pass” by many but it’s still pornography at it’s core. And these can lea
I’m with you, Cindy. As Christians, we can no longer afford to ignore this issue (especially not with the wrecked lives a porn addiction leaves in its wake). We must all say NO to ALL forms of pornography.
AMEN! This issue is not going away….as believers we HAVE to address it, talk about it and NOT pretend it’s not an imminent issue. I’ve spent countless hours dealing with the pain of this issue. This issue has touched my life personally, with my husband, with my kids and God’s grace is sufficient. The experiences though have given me the opportunity to minister to other women. Putting our “heads in the sand” does not fix it. It is like cancer….growing in deep, secret places. It’s not a question of IF exposure happens but WHEN….so the real question has to be: how do we deal with it? Thanks Cindy.