Hey Friends —
Here’s the deal. Typically when I blog, I sit and pray and choose my words carefully and intentionally.
Not today.
I’m just plain old mad. Forgive me in advance as I pound out my frustration and fury. I’ve had it, friends. Had. it.
First, some history.
This past season I have watched the enemy first hand come to “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10) from my family members and close friends.
No joke — I’ve had private conversations regarding everything from porn addiction to affairs to cancer to suicide attempts to divorce to friends who are ready to just be done.
Life is hard, y’all.
You know this.
I read every single email and comment that comes my way. My heart breaks as I read about your pain, secret sorrows, and desperate need for a little hope and joy in the midst of your mess.
I get it.
I live it.
The enemy came this spring and attempted — big time — to destroy my marriage.
It nearly worked.
Whereas it’s still too soon to share the details — if ever — please know I am still writing with a wounded, fragile heart. That crafty enemy tried a new slimy tactic, and he almost succeeded.
But God.
Thankfully, today, I can say my husband John and I are going to make it. But reconciliation has not come without a ton of tears, painful conversations, counseling sessions, earnest prayer, and oodles of grace.
Life is hard, y’all.
Which leads me to the shocking discovery shared in our community this week.
On Friday we learned a popular, well-liked DJ from our local West Michigan radio was arrested for “involvement” with under age children. Yesterday we learned he confessed to raping a 12 year old boy. (Unbelievable recap here)
Sorry for being blunt, but this is what we’re dealing with in West Michigan, friends.
And yes, you read that correctly — he confessed. It’s true.
LORD HELP US ALL.
A 12 year old boy.
My Benj is 12.
I. can’t. even.
Oh friends, will you join us in praying for the victim(s) involved in the case? May God use this great tragedy to shine His powerful searchlight on the victimization to precious kids happening in our own back yard.
May God in His powerful, redemptive ways transform every single ounce of the intense pain and unbelievable suffering to somehow be used for redemption and healing and life.
We need You, God.
Desperately.
Not to mention prayers for all involved — this DJ’s family (including new wife and stepson), friends, co-workers, & radio listeners.
And yes, prayers for the DJ too.
I peeked at some of the comments listed on newspaper articles, and it’s ugly. Christians arguing with other Christians on who to pray for, and how to pray. Non-believers bashing Christians and the Church. The internet “trolls” adding their ugly two cents. It’s a horrid state of affairs any way you look at it.
LORD HELP US ALL.
Friends, it’s time we turn this world upside down with the Good News of Jesus.
The world desperately needs us to be beacons of light and hope and Truth in the midst of this messy, messed up world.
If we are carrying the Name of Christ, may we seek to love and be love and to speak love.
No more of this nonsense.
No more of this secret internet stuff. (Let us not be ok with the statistic 1 out of 2 men in the church wrestle with pornography, and no, the statistic is not much better for women. This is not ok. Not on our watch!)
No more of the hidden deeds of darkness.
No more.
Friends, I’m begging you — if you are involved with anything in the darkness which needs to come to light, may today be the day you ask for help. Call a friend. Call a church. Call a counselor. Call someone and say no more.
You do not need to live in the secret sins and shame any more. It’s time to come to the light. Please.
Take it from a former drug and alcohol addict — freedom is possible, and wholeness and health is a beautiful thing.
You are not the one person who has outsinned the grace and mercy of God, promise.
Y’all know I don’t begin to have all the solutions, friends. Only Jesus.
How we desperately need Jesus to enter into this ugly situation. May He heal. Comfort. Redeem. Restore. Protect. Bring hope. Jesus alone is the Way, Truth, and Life. (John 14:6)
Our community is in shock. We are hurting, we are disgusted, we are grieved, we are desperate.
LORD HELP US ALL.
P.S. If you or anyone you love are struggling with a porn addiction, here are some links to help you on a journey to freedom.
- I Think My Spouse is Addicted to Porn
- Help! I’m A Christian Addicted to Porn
- Resisting the Power of Pornography
- How to Help Someone End a Pornography Addiction
Amen Cindy! God bless you for being your transparent, authentic, wonderful self! Praying extra for you, your family and the situation there in Michigan. See you in a few days!
Cindy,
Thank you for your honest post! This too has been on my mind and heart since hearing the devastating news. The one thing that I keep thinking about is maybe if he had someone that he could confide in about his addiction this maybe wouldn’t have happened.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, we in the church, the body of Christ need to be able to talk to each other about our struggles, but sadly because of the judgements of people those who have “these” types of urges stay silent and fall. We are told over and over in scripture to love each other, and yes to admonish each other, but there is such a lack of intimacy in the church. We all go and put our smiles on, but never go deeper with each other.
I am so not making excuses for John, oh my word my heart just aches for that little one and others who were violated. But I wonder “did he ever go to someone? Could he ever tell his dirty secret without condemnation?” I wrote a question to my home group in which I said “my addiction to food, is much more tolerated, then other addictions. I can talk to people about my struggle and get support from my Christ family, but can people who have this type of struggle?
I so, so, so wish the Church would open our eyes and let them come and be set free. My husband and I were talking about this just the other night, and I said satan is loving this. We all suffer in silence. We talked about how in our church (just like his church) there are probably people who are suffering in any of these ways and they are in prison. There is freedom in confessions. 1 John 1:9 tells us that. Christ will forgive. When that word is spoken satan has lost his power over us. I remember a few years back in a struggle I was having, satan was just pounding me with guilt. I had finally had enough and with my fist in the air, I gave it back to him with truth, and told him NO LONGER! To be able to confess to someone without judgement, what freedom.
I don’t know if this is making since or not, but that is where I am. Longing to offer forgiveness to the broken, and healing to the wounded.
Cindy,
What a gripping, powerful post today! That took grit to ”pound” this out in print! I am so very thankful that your marriage is healing! May God bless you and your family….and also your neighborhood and friends. This is certainly a trying time for every person alive on planet earth and we all need to be on our guard. Not only for ourselves but for our loved ones!
God bless you!
Marilyn
Oh Cindy you are so right. I feel ccountability is lacking. Our whole society is a click away from so many of Satan’s schemes. And those who partake, can remain silent & feed on their addiction without anyone knowing. Facebook, Twitter, etc… is being used to deface good solid relationships. The ungodly events of recent have alarmed the hearts of those who love the precepts of God Almighty & I believe a revival of prayer & commitment to the good & sacred things in life should be on the Christians heart & mind. Are we as children of God living like Jesus lived? Are people looking at us & saying to themselves, “Now there’s a person sold out to God, I want to follow them!”. As Christians, we need to step up to the plate & be holy because HE IS HOLY. It is our responsibility to show the world the love of Christ. Dear Lord, be with me today so that those you lead my way will see your love & decide to follow you. In Jesus Name, Amen… Go, and make disciples of all men!
Thanks for voicing your thoughts because they have so mirrored mine this week. It’s been such a struggle to understand. I know that as an avid listener of this morning show, I’ve felt betrayed (w/o ever having met the man) so I can’t even begin to imagine how his family and co-workers feel. His abuse of power with that child is another higher level of betrayal that will take years to heal.
Thanks for sharing your heart and your life. You are in my prayers.
Cindy – you are so right, the world is a broken place and we are all broken people. One of your comments says it all. We don’t pretend to have all the answers, but we have Jesus. We need to be desperate for him. Thank you for sharing and know I am praying for you.
Good stuff, Cindy. Keep it coming! 🙂
Well said, my friend. Life is hard. Thank you for sharing this part of your heart.
Cindy, there is a great website and resources for men and their wives. Pastor Jay Dennis at the Church at the Mall in LakeLand Florida and our New Hope Publishers has joined to call 1 million men to commit to live pornography free, and 1 million women to commit to pray. The website http://Join1MillionMen.org has all the information. We are definitely in a spiritual battle for the family.
Andrea Mullins, publisher, New Hope Publishers
My dearest Cindy – thank you for sharing that you are not exempt from the wiles of the devil, although I wish we all were. But our God can and will take evil and use it for good♡ My daughter married the most evil, vilest creature around 10 years ago. She was a single mom of a 5 year old little boy. They had 2 more boys. They divorced in 2012 after 10 years. After the divorce she found out that soon after marrying him he had molested her 5 year old for many years. He then molested their first son when he was about 5 for several years. Charges were made and for2 years nothing has been done to him. He and his new girlfriend are expecting a baby in 2 weeks. She has 2 children already and had been warned about him. I don’t know how or why bur Satan has been able to protect this pedophile. This is so awful and I know God will give the justice but in the meantime this pedophile has been able to get away with these crimes against children – one of them being his own flesh and blood. Please pray for my daughter and grandchildren and for justice before he molests another child.
Cindy, how true: only Jesus. Only Jesus. Only Jesus. Praying with you!
Cindy,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your courage to expose deeds of darkness and tell how it hurts your heart. I too feel deeply about the mess we humans can make because of the sin within and for those who live and walk in darkness who need the hope and help of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He is our only hope and we must intercede for us all, that God will bring sanctification of body, soul and spirit. He is our Savior. As my friend who left earth some time ago used to say, “Come quickly, Lord Jesus.”
Praying for you and your family, Cindy, as I know you are doing amazing work for the Kingdom of God and that is why the enemy is trying to attack your home. I will pray for strength for you both, healed hearts, and renewed love.
As for the DJ situation, I just heard last night (we were out of town this weekend), and I am devastated. Just plain devastated. I, like many, have listened to him every day for years and am shocked by the news. Anger, hurt, confusion, lack of comprehension, I feel it all! I was up half the night and I don’t know how to process it either. So I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. And I will keep on praying because I know the Grace of God is big enough to fix even a mess this big. He is the Great I Am and I praise Him that His grace is new each and every single morning since none of us deserve it. Beauty from ashes is His to create and I pray He brings some beauty out of this awful situation.
Thank you. My grown kids have had to deal with three suicides in the padt several months. A friend’s son was killed several weeks ago. God’s perfect plan and perfect timung are so difficult to accept or understand, but prepare us for what He has planned for our next journey, whether we like it or not. Staying faithful is what He wants from us…..but UGH! It’s really so hard.
You and your posts have been a huge blessing to me. I am grateful for your faithfulness and diligence with your ministry. God is using you to encourage others, in God’s perfect time, like today. 🙂
Amen! Although I have to say that accountability is not enough. If it depended on our own human effort then he would have made it through temptation. Don’t get me wrong, confession is good and right (and should be liberally practiced) Accountability is good and right (and should be liberally practiced too). But only God’s love and grace has the power to transform our innermost heart. I have been in prayer for the victim, the DJ, his family. They are all victims of sin. I’m deeply saddened by all the comments on news reports, Facebook and the like. We are all in desperate need of God’s radical grace. Lord help us all.
As in the days of Noah………
Just more proof our Deliverer is comming very very soon
Thanks for your post today, this is the first one I have ever read. Prayers to you and your family. We do need change and it will only come with our Saviors help. Prayers to the young victim and to all affected in this tragedy and all the others that are not brought to light.
Chris Fabry, of Moody radio, had a conversation with Chris Lemke of WCSG today (June 24) during the 2nd hour regarding John Balyo. I happened to be in the car and heard it. It was so good/helpful to listen. Highly recommended.
http://www.moodyradio.org/chrisfabrylive/
http://www.moodyradio.org/radioplayer.aspx?episode=136652&hour=2 is the direct link to listen
Chris Lemke’s advice was very similar to yours, Cindy.
Thanks Cindy. Good to read-I am so grieved over so many aspects of this whole thing-breaks my heart and I appreciate your words. We so need the redemption of Christ-He is our hope!
My sweet friend, if I have heard it once (in 30 years of ministry), I’ve heard it a 1,000 times – everbody does it! NO friends, everbody does NOT do it (look at porn)! Those “little” foxes – they spoil the vine, and families and lives! Stay true, Cindy. We are lifting you up!
Cindy,
Thank you so much for being transparent, bold, and faithful. We are seeing spiritual warfare increase and the enemy is focusing hard on families and marriages. I have hurt my wife and have seen much grace. The Lord has used it all to strengthen our walk with him, strengthen our marriage, and has used both my wife and me in advancing his kingdom. I met John Balyo only three weeks ago and was crushed in my spirit when I heard what he later admitted having done but God reminded me of the wickedness that I’ve had in my own heart and he reminded me also of the sins of Moses, King David, and the Apostle Paul, I believe we need to gather as believers and FAST and PRAY. We need to hold each other accountable. I will pray from you and your husband. I am glad that we have been brought together by God’s providence. Peace Cindy. In Christ, David
Cindy, Thank you for your honest and heartfelt post, I agree with you on this topic, it is in the news daily, and sometimes hourly, about human sexual trafficking, and sexual abuse and by people you would never think would be capable of these things. Sex is a very powerful addiction, it is destroying many life’s in our society today. I pray daily that God will keep bringing this into the light, so he can save all the innocent victims in the process.
I will pray for you and your marriage as well.
God Bless You.