Hey Friends!
Happy October! I hope you’re off to a great start to fall!
Today I’m super excited to introduce you to my friend Sarah Forgrave. Woot woot!
Sarah and I met this summer at the Speak Up Conference, and from the minute I met her, I was drawn to Sarah’s sweet, compassionate spirit.
Sarah is a wife, mom, author and wellness coach. She worked in corporate America for eight years before health complications from pregnancy changed the course of her life forever. Sarah loves inspiring others toward their full potential. 
Enjoy her guest post today!
5 Ways to Support a Friend Who’s Going Through a Hard Time by Sarah Forgrave
Several years ago, I faced one of the darkest times of my life. I’d given birth to my son and dealt with medical complications that stayed with me for a year and a half. I was unable to work or care for my newborn since I was in and out of surgeries.
When I look back, I’m filled with memories of friends who stepped in to help. If you have a friend going through a hard time, you may feel helpless to know how to best support her. Here are some specific ways that come to mind.
1. Pray right now.
So many times I’ve said, “I’ll pray for you,” but then later forgotten. Whether you’re with your friend in person or not, pause and pray immediately when the words, “I’ll pray for you,” are on the tip of your tongue.
If circumstances aren’t right to pray with her immediately, let her know you’ll pray, and then schedule a reminder on your phone. When you pray later, follow up with a brief message to encourage your friend and let her know you were thinking of her.
2. Buy a thoughtful gift.
If your friend isn’t feeling well, think of creative gifts that will soothe and help her. Here are some ideas:
- Coloring book and gel pens
- Heated eye mask or neck pillow
- Uplifting book or devotional
If you visit her at the hospital, you might stop by the gift shop first and buy a healthy, portable snack she can keep by her side. Examples include nut mixes or dried apple chips. (For more hospital gift ideas, check out this post.)
3. Sit and listen.
Pay attention to the location or posture of your friend and do your best to meet her on her level. Some of my favorite doctors have been the ones who sit on the edge of the hospital bed next to me, rather than standing at a distance “talking down” to me. Where is your friend sitting? Can you get close by and let her know you’re in this with her simply through your presence?
As you talk, remember the age-old advice, “You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.” Sometimes when we’re not sure what to say, we dominate the conversation to avoid awkwardness. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone. Ask your friend how she’s doing and then truly listen. Try not to jump in with your story, but let her do the talking.
4. Show up and help.
Asking how you can help may create more stress for your friend. The best thing might be to show up with a plan in mind. If you know she hasn’t been able to clean the house for months, show up with a bucket of cleaning supplies and get to work. It might feel awkward at first, but I guarantee she’ll appreciate it.
If she’s struggling to put meals on the table, show up with a pre-prepped freezer meal she can reheat later. Ideas include broth-based soups or stir-fry.
5. Do what you can.
If time is tight and your life is busy, do what you can. Send a quick text with a prayer typed out or a simple note that says, “I’m thinking about you today.” If you can’t deliver a meal, you could mail a gift card for carryout or delivery.
Bottom line: Don’t underestimate the power of any gesture, small or big. Your friend is likely facing lonely hours each day. Your message or gift could make a world of difference in reminding her she’s not alone.
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Wow, thanks, Sarah!
And good news!
Sarah just released a book this week called Prayers for Hope and Healing (Harvest House, October 2017). You will want to check it out!
I’d also encourage you to visit Sarah at www.sarahforgrave.com, or at the following sites:
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorSarahForgrave
- Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/SarahForgrave
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/SarahForgrave_Author
- Twitter: www.twitter.com/SarahForgrave
Here are some finally words from Sarah…
No matter the road ahead, you don’t have to face it alone. Even in the depths of your worst emotional and physical pain, God is right there beside you, offering His comfort, love, and peace…. Above all, know that you are never, ever alone.
Amen?! Amen!
Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*, sweet friend! I’d love to hear from you!
Leave a comment letting me know the kindest thing someone did for you in the midst of one of your hard seasons. I’ll pick one winner from the comments and send you a copy of Sarah’s new book!
God’s richest blessings to you—
When I realized I would need to bring my newborn grandson Jackson home to live with us because my daughter is an addict (& he was born severely exposed), I called my best friend Sheila who immediately asked me what I needed for Jackson and she offered to go shopping for me. She cried with me as I sobbed on the phone, since I had just been told 10 minutes earlier that my daughter was an addict. I had no idea. I’ll never forget her love for me in those moments of sheer disbelief and overwhelming sadness.
when my kids were in foster care and i did not have them. My dear friend would make sure every Sunday that I was never alone and that she would bring her two children with her and we would spend the day together after eating lunch. My x-husband had abused me and my daughter so it was failure to protect the kids but i was able to get my boys back in seven months and my daughter in ten months when they originally told me three years. Unheard of in the foster care system. My church family was my rock as well as relying on God during this hard time.
Bobbi – I can’t begin to imagine all the emotions you faced during that time. So glad you had a strong support system to rally around you. ❤️
Wow, Pamela, what a journey you have walked and a beautiful testimony of friendship. Thank you for sharing! ❤️
Last August I was diagnosed with a tubal pregnancy–the baby got lodged somewhere in my twisted, narrow Fallopian tube– jeopardizing both his/her life and my own. Tubal pregnancies, I’ve come to learn, are always fatal for the baby. And, if the tube ruptures, it can be fatal for mom as well. So, I had to have surgery to remove the baby and that half of my reproductive system. While recovering from the surgery (and the loss), I was visited by my husband’s childhood friend. I had heard of her before, but had never met her until she stepped into my house that day. She brought food for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. Plus, she stocked me full of coffee. But the best and most healing gift she gave was her own testimony of going through a tubal pregnancy a few years earlier. Thanks to her, I was able to feed my husband and two toddlers, all the while feeding my soul on her strength. Now, she and I are great friends and I will forever be grateful for her in my life!
Kelsey – I got goosebumps reading your story. What a testimony to practical, emotional, and spiritual support. I’m grieving your loss with you, but praising God for this amazing friend who showed up when you needed her. ❤️
Thanks so much for your condolences, Sarah! And also, thank you for putting together a book that helps people support others during a time of hardship and healing. Because of my friend, who shared her story, it inspired me to share my own experience in hopes that it would provide healing to others. Since its topic seems relevant here, I’ve shared it below. If you read it, I hope you enjoy!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/kelseygillespy.com/2016/08/08/how-my-baby-survived-my-miscarriage/amp/
When our daughter left the faith God and family. My family has been a great support to me. I am thankful for their love and prayers.
Julie – What a blessing to have supportive family members. Thank you for visiting and sharing! ❤️
Hello Sarah My son Michael and I have been having a hard time this year.We lost my Dad Louis to Esphugus Cancer and my husband Larry from a Rare blood cancer and my son Michael is Fighting Brain Tumors and Brain Cancer and the side effects of the surgeries and treatment of the Brainstem Tumors and We are Struggling Financially as well. I Trust God with Both of Our Lives. The doctor only gave my son Michael six months after his first Brainstem surgery and that was 08/07/2008 right before his 18th birthday on 08/20/1990.Michael has been through 3 Brainstem surgeries and a Shunt surgery and Brain and Spinal Radation. He has lost most of his vision and has problems with his balance and mobility and has problems with Dry eye’s and dry mouth. His energy level is very Low and he is prescribed Ritalin 4 time’s a day. He has been through a lot in the past nine years. He had a stroke in the Nero Intensive Care Unit. Thank you for your Facebook page and Your Encouragement and Your Opportunity to Win a Copy of Your Book. God bless you! Dena Neely
Dena – Wow, YOU have blessed ME today. I know you probably don’t feel like a warrior, but that’s how I see you. Dena the Warrior, powering through grief and suffering on God’s strength alone. Thank you for sharing your story. Continued prayers for you and your son… ❤️