Hey Friends —
Have you ever wondered what to say to help a hurting friend?
Maybe you’ve found yourself in a situation listening to a dear one share about a loss, heartbreak, challenge, or just overall stinky day—or season.
As she’s sharing, you’re praying—God, tell me what to say or do!
I have so been there! It’s so hard when we want to say something to take away their pain, troubles, and/or turmoil, but know there is no “right” thing to share.
I’ve also been on the other end—where as I poured out my heart, I felt not heard nor understood.
I know my friend meant well, but rather than an inspirational pep talk or a book to make things better, I just needed a listening ear and words of recognition to be reminded that I mattered, and that my feelings mattered too.
My lesson learned: we can never go wrong when we do these two words:
Note: this was originally video-taped last year after my feelings were hurt. It’s rough, it’s raw, and it’s really close up! Forgive the poor video-taping, but I believe in the content 100%! This was first shared on Periscope, so if you hear me commenting to an “imaginary” friend, I’m actually responding to a Periscope comment.
Friends, the words “affirm” and “acknowledge” are still my two favorite go-to words. Record them on your hand, forehead, or heart—but write them down. We can never go wrong by affirming and acknowledging the feelings of our friends and family members.
And for all of us, may James 1:19 be a reality in our lives. I especially love it in the Amplified Bible —
Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters: Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving].
How about you, friend? What wise words have been helpful when you were going through a hard time? What have you found not helpful? Share with us please!
Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! God’s richest blessings to you!
Keep Sparkling!
One thing that blessed me during a painful time was when a friend said, “I don’t know what it is like to go through this, but I have confidence you will get through. And I know the ONE who holds you close and will bind up your broken heart ”
Don’t say something like, “Oh it is so unfair that I have five healthy kids and yours is deformed.” Well meaning, but totally not effective.
Thank you for the words “affirm” and “acknowledge”. Bless you.
So true! Just coming through a very messy, hard week. So glad I have had support that affirms and acknowleges.
I like this a lot Cindy! Even though I myself have been through hard times, like deaths in the family, I ‘still’ don’t know what to say when I go to a funeral visitation. I usually don’t say anything but hug them and say I’m sorry for your loss. But this affirm and acknowledge is really thought-provoking. Thank you for this post, it gives me a lot to think about.